Change/Habits

Courtsey of Salvatore Vuono

I have been doing some things to try and help me be a better person, both physically and spiritually.  I have noticed that change is very difficult to make when you are used to life in a certain way and it seems to be working for you.  We have our daily routines and we are used to the way that things work for us and it makes it difficult for us to do substantial change even if it is better for us to do so.

For example, my son plays football.   During summer he was lifting weights and went to the school three days a week for a couple of hours.  Then it changed to 5 days a week 1 time a day and then 5 days a week 3 times a day.   Each change moved me out of my comfort zone from a planning and doing things perspective.  I had to adjust the things that I did and when I got certain things done; but, the change happened so quickly that I could not get into a rhythm.

It was then that I realized the importance of rhythm and habits to help us in life and the difficulties that lie in our path as we try to make changes.  As I sit and think about this, I looked to some things that can help with change and habits to make it easier, although not so easy that it still does not require work.

1.        It always helps to keep your eye on the reason for change.  In light of my son, I focused on the need for a father to try and help his son out in any manner possible.  Sure it is difficult for me and my schedule, but the real point of it is to be a father.  In my efforts to get healthier and grow spiritually, I focus on the importance being around for my wife and family and the need to want to grow and become more like Jesus.  Am I perfect, no.  Do I fall short sometimes, yes.  But I continue to try over and over again and keep my eye on the ball.

2.       Repetition is the key.  I am sure that you have heard about the 21 day rule.  It takes 21 days in order to make a habit.  But think about when you are changing something that you do not do every day.  For example, I started to walk every day for 15 minutes a day to try and become healthier.  I noticed that when I was doing this that it was easy to get into a rhythm and to add this to my routine every day.  At the same time, when I tried to bump that up to 30 minutes a day 3 times a week, it was a lot harder to do that the 15 minutes.  I thought that it was because of the increased exercises, but in reality, when I changed it to a total of 30 minutes every day, I was able to sustain the change more quickly and keep the momentum going.  We have to be aware that when we are doing something that is not a change that occurs daily, that it might be harder for us to sustain it than something that we do all the time.

3.       Find encouragement often.  I know that it is hard to do something when you do not have encouragement.  This can be hard if you do not have a good system built up.  For me that meant a three pronged attack.  First I set up internal ways to encourage myself. I celebrate success with a new book or something that helps me to feel good about my progress.  I also set up encouragement from my family.   I share my goals with family both my kids and my wife.  Nothing feels better than to know that you have their encouragement as you try to meet your goals.  Finally, I also set up a peer relationship to help me.  Once a week I meet with a friend of mine and we both review each other’s goals and also talk about how we are doing, the road blocks we encounter and the successes that we have had.

These things are some of the ways that I have been dealing with change and habits as I try and change myself.  These are not all the things I do, but they are some ways that I can move towards breaking through the walls that make it difficult to change.  What are some things that you do?

Dealing with Change



Courtesy of Jarvist Frost



I am getting ready to go through a major change process at church.  As I reflect on this, I realize that it is going to be difficult.  I think that most people resist change and things have been going well at church since the major split about 10 years ago.  So with this change comes a reflection on how to deal with it. As I think about this, I reflect on the way that Jesus instituted change in the Bible.  Jesus gives us the ultimate example of how to deal with change.  So here are some thoughts I have gathered about dealing with change as I look at Jesus as the example.

1.        Gather a group of key people around you and explain the change.  Jesus gathered some disciples and started to explain to them the change in the way that things were going to change.  No longer were the concerned with the law per se as much as it was taking care of the least of these and feeding the hungry and taking care of the sick.  We need to make sure that we have strong leadership in the change process, that the people who are going to help make decisions on how to deal with the change are prepared for the process and are doing so in the best interests of the church and the ministries that we have worked hard on.

2.       Deal with current realities and then what could be.  Jesus did his best to show the disciples the current reality of the situation.  There were people who needed care, who needed food, who needed physical and spiritual healing.  Then he talked about how taking care of these people and loving them as their neighbor would help to usher in the Kingdom of God.  Jesus continually talked about the current reality and what would be the new reality with the change.  While the current reality may seem nice at church, we have to recognize that there can be a newer and better reality and instead of letting people spend time thinking about what was, we need to help them to think about what could be.

3.       Jesus modeled the change.  Jesus not only taught the disciples about the way that they needed to change, he lived it out.  He took change by the horns and dealt with it himself.  He feed the hungry, healed the sick, point out the hypocrisy of the religious elite and did so even at his on detriment.  If we want to lead people through change we have to be the leaders who model the change as well and not stand back while others do it.

4.       Jesus always talked about the change in everything he did.  He explained to the disciples why he did things.  He told them how this fit into God’s plans and he kept drilling it into their minds that everything that they were doing had purpose even when the disciples did not feel confident about what was going on.  Jesus never let them doubt themselves or the changed.  Even then they doubted themselves.  We have to make sure that even when it seems like it is the darkest that we keep telling our folks throughout the change process the importance of change and what the future reality will be if we just persevere through the process.

At the same time we have to be careful of the potential risks with change.

1.        When confronted with change people sometimes leave never to be heard from again.  Jesus told the Rich Young Ruler what to do.  When confront with change, he left and we never hear from him again.  When we talk to people about change, there is always the fear that they will leave and not be heard from again.

2.       When change does happen we can revert to do what we have always done rather than accepting the change and being transformed by it.  Just look at the disciples.  Even after spending years with Jesus, watching the miracles that he did, once he was crucified and buried they went back to what they were used to doing, fishing.  Despite the training that Jesus had given them and all the work that he did with them to prepare them for change, they just did what they always did.  We have to realize that change means something is going to change and includes us.  We have to be open to the change and realize that it is going to make us different people, but that is not a bad thing.  We have to let it shape us and we have to become better for it.  We should not revert back to our old habits hoping it will be the same as it was before the change occurred.

3.       Finally change can come at a cost.  Change cost Jesus his life and the lives of many of the disciples and early church mothers and fathers.  While I do not think we will be put to death for the change we are going through, it might feel like a part of us is dying because of the change.  We are to accept that it will be difficult and it may cost us some things, but we can come through it and be better for it. 

Change is hard; we don’t deal with it well.  However, Jesus gives us some ways to deal with change.  If we embrace it and continue to pray for our church as we go through the change, we can find a way to come through it and continue on with doing the work that God has entrusted us to do on the Lord’s behalf.

What things do you do to help with change?  How would you help a church going through transition?